about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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