Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
