That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
