Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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