it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
