are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
