It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
