Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
