i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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