I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
