I wish my penis had an off switch
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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