how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
