Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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