walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
operation harelip BJ is a go
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
