what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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