I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My pussy is not your playground.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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