I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Screwed.edu
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
