I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
