I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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