nutella sex= disaster
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
