You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
