We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
