i just google imaged poop.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
