sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
