Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just googled if crying burns calories
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
