Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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