Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
