Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
