there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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