3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
