Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
