I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
