His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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