Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
