What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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