windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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