Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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