Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think i have herpe
just one?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
