Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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