"it" just moved
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
