I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm too high and old for this...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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