Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
