im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
