you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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