nut hugger
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
