tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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