Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
