i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This house was built for laser tag.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
