So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
