He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
