Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
