Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
