oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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